An Original Quiz

Last week the CBC evening news showed a series of segments about driving, focusing particularly on bad driving. They asked viewers to write in and tell them where in Canada the worst drivers could be found (in my humble estimation, that would be Vancouver, but since I'm no longer a Canadian resident....). When it comes to which city or province has the worst drivers, one could find many differing opinions, I'm sure, but today, I'd like to present to you my a quiz to exhibit my findings about driving in Northern Maine. This quiz, cleverly titled "Am I Qualified to Drive in Northern Maine?" will, by answering a series of questions, enable you to find out if YOU are qualified to drive in Northern Maine.

Quiz: Am I Qualified to Drive in Northern Maine?
For each question, choose the answer that best represents your own driving habits.

Question 1:
You are driving down Main Street where the speed limit is 25mph. You:
a) drive 25mph because that's the speed limit and you are a law-abiding citizen (even though you too secretly agree that the limit should be more like 40mph).
b) drive at least 40mph because that's what they really meant to write on those signs.
c) honk your horn and tailgate, barely missing the bumper of the car in front of you, just so you can arrive at your destination 30 seconds sooner than 'the slow guy.'
d) Both b and c are correct.

Question 2:
You are approaching a stop light that has just turned yellow. You
a) start slowing down and prepare to stop.
b) curse at the car in front of you whose driver was too stupid to rush through the light so that you could still make it through at the beginning of the red light.
c) wait for the car in front of you to go through the red light and then do the same.
d) Both b and c are correct.

Question 3:
It's winter and the blue paint of the 'handy spot' is nearly obscured by snow. You:
a) realize you've parked in a handy spot and promptly move your car.
b) realize you've parked in a handy spot and stay where you are - you're only going to be five minutes.
c) realize you've parked in a handy spot but decide to ignore the blue paint and secretly congratulate yourself on scoring such a great parking spot at the MALL on SATURDAY.
d) Both b and c are correct.

Question 4:
You're backing into your garage just as you notice your neighbour is leaving. You:
a) smile and wave and think, 'hm, I really should go over and introduce myself one of these days.'
b) glare at them.
c) hope that by pretending to ignore them, they'll go away, even though they've smiled and waved at you four times since spotting you - you're too busy trying not to hit your garbage can anyway.
d) Both b and c are correct.

Question 5:
You are a cop out on traffic patrol in Northern Maine. You
a) get all excited when you see a car pull through a red light. It's your fifth ticket for such an offense just this morning!
b) decide to follow the law-abiding, non-speeding, non-red-light-running station wagon in front of you, just because it will make the driver nervous.
c) decide to go for coffee - somebody else will catch traffic law violators today.
d) Both b and c are correct.

Question 6:
You are a Northern Maine resident. Your most frequent driving dream is:
a) to have just one safe, uneventful commute to work. Just once a month, even one-way will do!
b) getting that handy spot at the mall every Saturday.
c) successfully talking your way out of tickets for speeding and running a red light - on the same day!
d) Both b and c are correct.

How Did You Do?
If you chose all A's, under NO circumstances should you attempt to drive in Northern Maine if it is at all avoidable. You could be involved in a serious car accident.

If you chose mostly A's with maybe one B thrown in, you should probably stay where you are, though venturing into Maine once in a while could prove quite the adrenaline rush for you.

If you chose mostly B's or C's, you should seriously think about what kind of driving hazard you present in your very own town or city of residence. Consider staying home today and giving other drivers some much-needed peace.

If you chose mostly D's: It's YOU! YOU!!!!! Shame on you! Shame!!!! You park in handy spaces, don't you?! When the only thing you're probably handy with is a butter knife! I'm appalled! (So...when are you moving out here?)