Why I Hate Almost All of April

So remember how I said that March didn't really go out like a lamb? And remember how I said that it was windy but relatively warm and sunny outside last week? And remember how that meant that we hardly had any snow left on the lawn - or anywhere for that matter? And then remember how when we went to bed last night it was snowing and this morning it looks like winter has come all over again? (No, I didn't remember that either.)

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
*pulls out hair*

I can't take it anymore! I am so stinking sick of winter! But 'funny,' this: last night on CBC, since they can't go more than two minutes without some CBC personality mentioning those insidious words "climate change" or "global warming," they began a new series discussing how climate change is already affecting the world. (They also listed three benefits of it; one being that tourist season will last longer now. Okay....) So after a half hour segment about melting polar ice caps, intense flooding in BC's Lower Mainland, and that dubious critter the Pine Beetle, we cut to commercial. When we come back, there is poor Claire Martin (who's job is undoubtedly now hanging by a thread after such an incongruous forecast) all set to give the forecast; a forecast which consisted primarily of well BELOW seasonal temperatures, frigid weather (for April), and copious amounts of snow, not only in the prairies, but also in parts of Ontario, Quebec, AND the Maritimes. They didn't even show the northern territories (there were probably blizzards everywhere)! I'm sure there was some producer in the back saying "Martin! Cut it short! CUT. IT. SHORT!"

I wish somebody would start explaining why global warming is causing it to SNOW in Northern Maine in APRIL.

On top of that we were finally looking forward to not having to buy so much heating oil so that for once, we could get through a month and nevermind the ends meeting, they could at least see each other. Evidently no dice.

And on top of that: this will probably seem quite minor to most of you, but having been sucked into the propaganda machine that is the CBC, we have found ourselves in the strange position of actually caring about the characters on Coronation Street. (Yes, Uncle Robert, I'm sorry...) Truly at first we hated it, but then because there was nothing else on....AND NOW, oh stupid stupid NHL! Oh I can't stand hockey! (I know, I know - what kind of Canadian am I??? One who hates watching hockey, that's what kind!) A once-a-week triple header on Saturday night is already too much, do we have to preempt Coronation Street for the NHL playoffs until JUNE?!?!

June. Not 'the end of April' or 'the beginning of May,' but JUNE!

[Is there a reason why they never show lacrosse on CBC? The national channel, you'd think, would be interested in promoting Canada's official national sport. ]

I'm going to drown my Coronation Street blues in orange juice and early Easter candy. Then maybe I'll spend some time plotting my takeover of the CBC.